proof positive....

that darryl sutter has totally lost his shit.
if any other gm in the league is awake today, pocketdawes (and his 15 goals and affordable contract) is as good as gone.

ps: i'll miss you, gio, when you go.
xx
wi

darryl sutter is not delusional

in a statement to the calgary herald yesterday, the flames' general manager announced that the club is "one player away from being a top team."

yeah. one player like sidney effin' crosby, alex ovechkin, or jonathan toews.

in other news, i'm starting to think daz throws in a lie after he begins a sentence with "to be quite honest." i think that because of this gem from that same article:

“To be quite honest, I don’t see us being very active here at all,” Sutter said Thursday in a break from meeting with his scouts. “We have one or two guys who we’re really going to try and work with and get something done — on our own team.”

i'm 99% positive that we'll deal someone to get a pick in the first or second round. my bettin' money's on ian white, but i swear that i wouldn't be shocked to see gio go (SAD, but not surprised). if gio gets dealt tomorrow, watch fan support dwindle. this team is going nowhere fast.

whoah.

so.... soon.

how dion celebrated his captaincy

hey, it's a slow news week what can i say ?

dion named leafs captain and other things we already knew

the country's worst kept secret in ages: that dion phaneuf was going to be named captain of the toronto maple leafs. the most surprising part was probably that it happened on a monday.

what, you weren't surprised by that ??? yeah.... you're right. me neither.

while i do believe it's totally possible for dion to succeed in toronto (brian burke put all of the betting money on his #1 defender thriving if applauded for being an egotistical loudmouth, and brian burke is no stooge), i also think it's hella early/late days to be saying shit like this:

"... He's a puck-moving defenceman with a gift for scoring, while at the same time is an imposing presence in his own end. The team played much better after he arrived, and his enthusiasm in the room was noticed by coach Ron Wilson."
----------toronto star

here's my commentary:

1. throwing around terms like "puck moving defenseman" and "imposing presence" are not necessarily false ---and they were pretty much bang on back in 06/07... currently, i'd say that dion definitely moves pucks towards the net (albeit about 5 feet overtop) and there's no dodging the fact the dude can hit. unfortunately, the hits often come at the expense of the play, and occur mere moments before the puck finds the back of the net he's meant to be defending... plus, i think kaberle is a far stronger puck mover, though nobody seems to want him wearing the new/old stripey leafs sweater.

2. "the team played much better after he arrived," while true, PROBABLY had more to do with the fact that js giguere arrived at the same time. also, ridding ones' team of vesa toskala could be a big contributing factor. oh, and there was also a 'changing of the guard', so to speak, with hagman, stajan, mayers & white's spots being usurped by newbies (which no doubt made some sort of difference). ie: inferring that dion's arrival was the key to a better team might be.... well... embellished (TBD).

3. "a gift for scoring" must be referring to elisha cuthbert, cause there's no way in hell it's referring to anything hockey-related. even leaf fans aren't gonna eat that tripe.

speaking of leaf fans eating tripe: how's that "new" jersey ?

;)

mike fisher is a real man

sure, his fiancée is superhot and a totally successful country singer/former winner of american idol but does he really have to carry her bedazzled clutch ?

if you're not taking it to the stage with you, just leave your purse on your chair !!! i mean, what's IN IT that can't be left unsupervised for a few minutes ??!??? jeeeeeeezzzz.....


also ? i think it's quite the statement on pop culture in the current era that nobody blinks an eye when someone wears two different outfits at an awards show.

oh, and mike fisher needs a freakin' stylist. stat.
;)

um. WHAT ??

so i tried to listen to the darryl sutter interview a day later (cause it was posted on flames.com and the fan960) and i will admit that i only made it through about half of the first installment (of three). yeah, that's right: i could only punish my ears through 14:37 until i'd had quite enough of the electronic cellphone interference interrupting pretty much fucking everything. i must admit, any GM who's cellphone is that busy MUST be in the process of doing SOMETHING.... there's no way daz has that many friends..... but i digress; fourteen minutes was also plenty enough of D-sutts giving fans the run-around while kerr and boomer thoroughly allowed him to do so.

it actually reminds me of something that my very good friend lindsay (aka: the doctor) told me once... you see, he hosts a radio show on the australian broadcasting corporation's tripleJ [as an aside: i was the official JJJ drive show correspondant for the winter olympics, which was thoroughly ridiculous and utterly hilarious], and he's really really REALLY good at interviews. the point is that he explained that it doesn't matter what the question is, you can answer anything you want, so long as at the end you twist it back to "relate to" the question.

example:
Q: "what's the most embarassing album you own ?"
A: "ted nugent's 'wang dang sweet poontang' if by EMBARASSING you mean pleased as punch."

so, darryl sutter does this.
like, a LOT.
and, to be quite honest (*snicker*) i'm totally sick of it...

example:
Q: "when you hire those people --how is going to change what you do or how the flames do business ?"

A: ""i don't know if it changes how you do business but it certainly gives you.... bigger doesn't mean better but better maybe the way... the way we can move some of the responsibilities around i think that that...uhhhh.... y'know if you look at our staff it's primarily based on a uhhh..... mike holditch who's in charge of the capol ---he's really the 'capologist' and finance part of it and the business and helping me negotiate the contracts, and then after that it's spread out into, uh... below the nhl more and i just think that ummm... it's funny not making the playoffs ---it's something that we talked about last summer, something that we talked about the year before that when you don't make the playoffs then it becomes more of a topic or an issue, right ? i think that the um..... y'know what ? we'll find the right guy."

right, darryl.
sure.
clear as mud, sir.

another thing he seems to do is, instead of admitting fault or culpability in a situation, he will exaggerate the original result thousandfold. like where boomer/kerr ask him if, given another chance, would he still trade dion/olli. his response ? "i would have done it earlier."

i will keep my ears open for further examples of this but i'm convinced it's not the first time, nor will it be the last....

i'm onto you, dazza.

09/10 season ends with a whimper

when a road team wins the cup, the hoopla at the final buzzer is obviously always underwhelming. generally speaking, when the winning tally comes in OT, there's a bit more immediate fanfare no matter where the game is played.... so, i think perhaps the hockey gods were speaking to patty kane on last night's championship-winning goal: "here, kid. you deserve this, but you best be settling your ego the eff down.... the win is for your team, not YOU," as it came and went with very little hoopla. infact, it seemed the room was all-but silent, save for kane himself (who appeared to be the only fella in the joint who knew that the puck had crossed the line).

the blackhawks certainly deserved to come out victorious, and there was honestly not alot of doubt they'd be contenders even at this time last year.... and while i often cheer for the dark horse, i must admit that it's pretty satisfying to see lord stanley's mug awarded to the rightful victor.

a couple of minor post-game thoughts:

1. adam burish's "winner" (plastic) gold medal effin' ruled:




2. jonathan toews joins the triple gold club as its' youngest inductee. like crosby before them, keith and seabrook (not keith seabrook) are still missing the world championship gold. a reason, perhaps, to not skip the tourney in upcoming years ??

3. scotty bowman appears to have named his son after lord stanley, who finally brought home his namesake. as if the dude's life could have possibly been any different ??!?

4. the footage of teemu hoisting the prize still chokes me up and probably always will....

6. bittersweet aftertaste: pronger losing and hossa winning. carcillo losing and sopel winning.

7. chris versteeg very clearly pronounces his own name VERsteeg, not verSTEEG.

8. jeff carter is gonna have nightmares that all goalies forevermore will be practising how to make saves with their faces.

9. only one month and three days til prospect camp at the dome. less than 14 weeks til rookie camp/15 weeks til training camp. bring it.

why calgary's sled island festival is awesome:

in addition to providing calgary with an arts and culture festival to call it's own, sled island makes friends of otherwise competing music venues, movie theatres, and art galleries. it brings in interesting bands from out of town, all the while showcasing interesting local musicians, filmmakers & artists.... yeah, i'm pretty sure we'd all agree that sled island is cool.

another reason sled island is kickass: the festival's director, future ward 8 alderman (vote!), and hitthepost pal, zak pashak. the dude is, quite simply, a die-hard hockey fan. we've spent some great patio afternoons discussing the pros and cons of the flames blueline, and countless hours watching games of the nhl, whl, and international variety (some of the best times ever were at vancouver's ANZA club watching team canada win their way to olympic gold). he's smart, funny, and invested in his causes, and he fucking LOVES the city of calgary.....

because zak's a buddy of mine, i took the time to read the "thank you" page of the sled island program guide (that you can currently find in this month's beatroute magazine, and will no doubt also appear in a late-june edition of ffwd magazine).... let's just say i was glad to have taken the time. little things like this amuse me to no end:



or, to save you from finding a magnifying glass and/or squinting so hard your eyes hurt:


:)

thanks for making my day, man.

sasquatch festival

as previously mentionned here and elsewhere, i like to lurk facebook for sport. i have managed, in my time, not only to find and check out a number of players' pages, i'm currently holding topless pics of brett sutter and some very seriously awesome ones of keith seabrook in his underwear (awesome because the undies are KICKASS). anyhow, i'm not really the type to post'em here on my blog but suffice it to say that they exist, i know they exist, and perhaps someday i'll feel inclined to share'em....

ie: peter hanlon might want to remind the players how to privatize their social networks. tsk tsk, sir. you're doing a poor job.

at any rate, some people who may or may not be (occasionally ?) employed by the calgary flames organization apparently went to watch some bands in the sun at the gorge in george, washington [note: i've known for years that the gorge was in george, but it just occurred to me that the place is called george washington...]. i don't think it's at all important or interesting to post photos of their good times, but i do think this one was made for the interwebz. 21 years after his departure from the flames, and he's still some fans' preferred #12.


kudos to you, friend.
:)

wi.

from zero to hero !!!

let's be clear:

i have always thought that chris pronger was a total douche....

i've also never mixed words when describing what a lowlife i think patty kane is.....

but here's today's twist:

[editor's note: can someone tell me when 'patrick kane' became 'pat kane' ? was it around the same time 'daniel briere' became 'danny briere' and 'VARlamov' became 'varLAMov' ??]

patty kane [like 'patty cake'] has an incredible pedigree of being a total chump: starting with him beating up a cab driver over 20 cents, continuing on through the half-naked-in-a-limo incident, and ending with the fact that he's a damn good hockey player for a club that's neither the flames nor team canada.

i think it's because his age/hormones won't allow him to grow a playoff beard, but regardless: his decision to grow an irony mullet for the playoff run gets two thumbs up from me.... not just because he's growing it jagr styles and without shame, but because he adorned the business half with some serious mc hammer/vanilla ice shaved-in side steps:

on the other side of the ice, you've got chris pronger and puckgate.

i'd be willing to bet that nobody from either team ACTUALLY thinks that the puck-thieving at games' end is actually a big deal, but chris pronger has singlehandedly shifted the media focus from "why the eff did leighton let in two goals in 30 seconds ?" to "chris pronger has a serious history of douchey manouevers."

there is no doubt that the man they call "elbows" has a history of being a dirty player and a lousy human being, but my guess is that his current roster of teammates think he's pretty fantastic for pulling a smoke and mirrors job that would make darryl sutter proud....

watch !! it's EASY !!! just pick up a couple of pucks at the end of a couple of games, tell people that you threw them in the garbage "cause that's where they belong" [ummm... GENIUS] and the next thing you know, you're back on home ice trying to even the series..... and while everybody on the planet discusses what a bratty spoilsport you are, not a SOUL bothers to inquire what the hell laviolette was thinking by starting daniel carcillo on the first line in game 2.

so, to two guys i have hated in the past and will thoroughly dislike again in the future, today i tip my hat.

:)