lunch and other tasty morsels for STH's

first of all, i want to apologize personally to ken king on behalf of myself and my bloggy colleagues from hitthepost who attended the season ticket holder's luncheon today and didn't speak up when asked "is there a blogger in the house ?".... people who have met me know that i'm super personable and easygoing, but in a room full of strangers i get painfully self conscious and ridiculously uncomfortable speaking out (the exception to this rule: karaoke'ing kriskross 'jump'...).

put it this way: my alias isn't walkinvisible for nothing.... but i digress

i will also point out to the masses that i don't believe we would've been persecuted by the org for being nerdy bloggers... unless a rep from domebeers had infiltrated the bowels of the 'dome on an offseason wednesday afternoon. part of me thinks kk wanted to know what a real-life blogger looks like (and part of me thinks he'd know exactly which of the 50-or-so folks we were), but he suggested that he was just curious how fast the following information would spread to the world:

there is a chance that the flames will purchase the calgary roughnecks lacrosse team.

[ps: ken ? if you're reading ? feel free to contact me at walkinvisible@gmail.com ---i'd love to talk to you about having a fulltime flames' blogger/tweeter. i write good reports and would even promise to not swear and i'd TOTALLY use caps] ;)

onwards.

here are some other things kk touched on, in the order of (my) interest:

1. COACHING STAFF
he talked about the coaching staff evaluations, and how it led to the dismissal of mcgill, cookson, and ("uhhhhhhhh....." king's eyes close... hand goes to forhead....looks to rollie cyr for assistance...) McLENNAN. sorry to say it, noodles, but the org president forgot your name for a sec. OR, alternately, refers to you so often as "noodles" that he couldn't remember your REAL name in a formal setting.... anyhow. not much info on gilly but it sounds like cookson lost his job to some tech savvy "consultant" who will be much better at operating the new fandangled video playback equipment. also, according to king, cookson wants to be an "on-ice" coach so the non-renewal of contract (aka: firing) is really in his best interest... as for mclennan, he was offered another unnamed position with the org that king suggests is not a demotion. i was gonna inquire about it but he probably wouldn't have told us anyways since he touched on the subject in his pre-emptive opening monologue. he did, however, offer the info that noodles has until "the end of the week" to make a decision on the offer. ie: two more days. [my feeling ? he's gone.... and i'm TERRIFIED he'll resurface in vancouver... ] king also noted that they wanted a bigger "veteran coaching presence" behind the bench, which hopefully means it no longer applies to the players. my fingers are crossed for the hiring of former AHL affiliate, lowell loch monsters, assistant tom rowe. natch. ;)

2. FRONT OFFICE
as far as announcing feaster as the official GM of the team, well ---don't hold your breath. they are still "going through the process" to ensure the "right fit." from the sounds of it, they want to announce the "package" in the front office all at once and are still filling in the gaps (this may also include coaching, that was unclear). kk DID suggest that feaster was currently in abbotsford reviewing things there, and that they were allowing him to choose his own people ---such as asst. GM--- which leads me to believe the "acting" title is in name only. i think it's fair to say it's been decided that this is the guy that will run the flames' future. hmph.... king said nothing about his own position, though i don't recall him having "CEO" after "president" in his job title before...?

3. UFAs
we were told that offers are out to "more than one" of the UFA players, and that they "want to sign" tangs, glenX & pardy, and that they "like" babs, karlsson & *gasp*staios ---for the right price. he went on about how much the org believes in karlsson & thinks he can take on 22 or-so games, and he also discussed glenny's deal; noting that 29% of his output came during 13 games. while that stat is interesting, more notable is the fact that the org is AWARE of this stat, and the presumption that they're using it to lower glenny's worth. [my feeling ? he's gone.... and i'm TERRIFIED he'll resurface in vancouver... lol]. king admits to the club (*cough*darryl*cough*) having overpaid some contracts, but doesn't mention bouwmeester, stajan, jokinen, bourque, sarich, hagman, kotalik, staios, or ivanans directly. ;)

4. ROOKIES
using the classic businessman runaround model, kk suggests something to the effect of "just because we have room for young players doesn't mean we will have young players on our team." he did seem positive, however, about erixon and brodie, and mentioned them plus nemisz and bouma as the four frontrunners in this capacity. he also suggested "a couple others," though i can't imagine who he's thinking of, unless they feel they want to give jon rheault an actual contract, they're wanting to skip max reinhart straight from the dub, or he's forgotten keith aulie got traded to the leafs for a sack of pucks.

OTHER GEMS:
- they're looking at alternate urban sites for a new arena. places they're looking ? "to the north, uhhh, east, and south.... and west." lol. best quote of the day. ;)
- the salary cap should go up next year "by the cost of one of our UFA's salary." obviously that is massively different if we're talking pardy or tanguay but some maths thrown around were "57% of the total of the new USA tv deal divided by 10." or something equally perfectly clear.
- the next new 3rd jersey will be in three years at the earliest
- they're raising the price of beer by 25cents and will experiment with bottom to top pour technology.
- the team will not be going back to PPVs (sorry, nybo) based on inferior production quality.
- coaches grade the players after every game on a 0-5 type scale, and then there was something about these numbers being plotted on a grid. inneresting.
- conny's fitting in "like a glove" in the front office. sounds like he's going hockey ops direction, is a good player-to-mgmt 'go-between,' is dabbling in player scouting, and even looking into puck technology. no doubt doing it all with that big ol' conroy smile on. ;)
- the flames foundation is returning appx 2 mil/yr to the community. kk seemed very excited about a new project that will be announced sometime in the next year or so.
- asked when they're retiring #14, kk suggested the org is moving away from jersey retirement and towards more acknoledgement-type ceremonies. ie: iggy will get retired and fleury won't. that ticks me off.
- per game playoff revenue (lost) is "north of a million, south of two."
- kk discussed traffic concerns around the 'dome on gamenights and revealed the org has hired a traffic consultant to help make improvements. he wouldn't, however, go into detail because "if it doesn't work, we'll look like idiots."

...kindof like the 10/11 season, hunh fellas ?

The Ugliest Shoes Ever.

So in an another episode of Flames fandom gone wild, I would like to introduce all of you to the ugliest shoes ever. But just because they are ugly, does not mean they are not absolutely badass. For many years, I never thought I could top the gem of a find I had found at the Puma Store on Newbury Street in Boston, circa 2006...the Puma RS 100 Gold Rush...

.

Those shoes epitomized a golden era of Flames hockey and have been my go to Flames games kicks since AND you could wear them in public without coming off too flash. Yes, I wore them at the Heritage Classic too...which was not a super good idea cause I froze my feet in the process...but I represented, right?

Well I've topped the Pumas, I kid you not. And it wasn't really a find...I designed them myself on Converse's website and their creation is practically legendary. I have to credit Newsboy aka James Callsen of Calgary's X92.9 FM for informing me of the ability to design the shoes at Converse, so he definitely gets a high five for helping bring these masterpieces to life. For many years I had tried to create some Flames Nike Shox on Nike ID without much success. It was just too hard to capture the spirit of the classic NHL fan gear I was trying to create. The low top Chuck T's gave me the opportunity to capture all the glory of the NHL in the 1980s while remaining elegantly tacky. It is for this reason that while I contemplated including some black (which is a color in the Flames current color scheme) as a component of the shoe, but black did not make the final cut. In honor of the Flames bringing back the retro jerseys in recent seasons, the shoes' color scheme is straight throwback. Additionally, the shoes had to evoke the essence of the Magic Man....Joel Otto...the 86 Cup Run...and the 89 Stanley Cup. Honestly the only thing missing with these shoes is a mullet or a porn-stache. Truth be told, if these shoes existed back in the 80s, someone on the set of the "Red Hot" music video would have been wearing them.

With that said, it really takes a hockey enthusiast, and not just any Flames fan, to see magnificence instead of just an ugly ass pair of shoes. Hence the reason my girlfriend, a Flames fan, gasped in horror and exclaimed "Ronald McDonald called and wants his shoes back!" when she saw them. So if you're reading this blog, I am sure you are going to appreciate the pictures below. If you don't, this is probably your first time at htp or you are just an Oilers or Canucks fan looking to troll a Flames site...because a reader of this blog will just stare in amazement at the following...

Yep...they are ugly...and they say Go Flames Go on the side...but they are definitely #winning.

the real hat trick

it's kinda hard to see in this half-assed iphone photo, but here's the background story:

there's a guy (who's name is ryan, if i remember correctly) who has seasons tickets in the bleeders on the east side of the 'dome by the pressbox. a few of the times i've met steinberg pre-game to say "hey," this guy has passed us heading to his seats and he's stopped to say hello. so here's the kicker: every single game he brings this $6.00 children's-sized dion phaneuf hat to throw in case of a hat trick. and he's been bringing it for eons.... "why ?" you ask ? cause a nice-looking, adult sized calgary flames hat costs upwards of twenty bucks !!!

anyhow, when iggy got his third last night, this was the VERY FIRST THING i thought about.

now that guy needs to go get a new tossing hat.
;)

fantasy pool factoids

in case you were interested: this guy in the featurette below went into the "playoff rounds" at #3 in my fantasy pool. i fought him the whole way during the season but ended #4. it ticked me off that the screaming dobermans (my team) lost position to the smelly terriers (his team).



funny and awesome.... if i can knock off #1 and he can take out #2, we'll meet in the finals next week. right now both series' are tilted 5-3 in favour of the higher seed. ie: not looking good. whatever ---last year the dobies came in 12th and the awesomely named graceland kings won the title.

so, either way, i'm stoked to have made it this far.

:)

fuck you, teemu

i absolutely adore teemu selanne and every single thing to do with his career, skills, and quirks.

having just scoured the vaults of hitthepost history, i am surprised that i never documented one of my alltime favorite hockey moments: when me and my boy strombo were realtime texting about how emotional we were when teemu finally hoisted the prize back in 07 (a win i reveled in ONLY because of the legendary finn).

how awesome is it that teemu was a schoolteacher in his pre-nhl years ? how incredible that he once got a $40,200.00 speeding ticket ? that he played for the winnipeg jets ? that he scored 76 goals in his rookie year and went duck hunting when he broke mike bossy's record at #54 ?!? that he races cars in the offseason (and that he races under the pseudonym teukka salama which "loosely translates as tommy lightning" ---from wikipedia ) ??!!!?

also ? i wouldn't even say he's good looking. i'd suggest he's truly handsome. ;)

anyhow, teemu is a fucking legend. full stop, without a doubt. and i love the guy. except here's the hitch: he's effin' FORTY ----more than halfway to 41----, and he's still pretty much singlehandedly sinking my team's chances at the 10/11 playoffs.

which deserves a big ol' middle finger, if you ask me... hopefully he gets this note and bows out gracefully tonight cause the flambés need this one in the win column in a crazy big way....

(watch getzlaf/perry get eighteen goals tonight now)

;)

why is this guy GRINNING ??!

okay, fine. i screencap'd this a few weeks back when everything in flamesville was cruisin' along and victories were being had like handfuls of popcorn at noodles' house. now i bet the three muskateers (l-r: uncle feaster, senior vp/asst gm & self-proclaimed "capologist" michael holditch, and director of hockey administration mike burke) in the pressbox aren't smiling, and i bet at least one of them is wondering if he'll have a job next year. [editor's note: the flames brass are in some serious need of updated photos].

i say: buh-bye to all fuggin' three.


1. FEASTER
well in the verrrry limited time at the helm of the flames, he has given us 3 no-brainer moves (waiving kotalik & conroy, recalling backlund) one "meh" (carson) and one "total waste of time and money" (modin). it's the modin move that scares me the most ----anyone who really thinks that a 35-year old who hasn't dressed a full season in half a decade is the go-to stop-gap/depth guy is an imbecile. it's that kind of thinking (*ahem* staios) that got us into this mess in the first place.

as i've said before; i think feaster could be a useful cog in the wheel of this team so long as someone else is making the hockey decisions. the way ken king was touting michel goulet during the darryl sutter dismissal presser, i allowed myself to believe that a hockey guy would analyze and evaluate potential future flames, and that feaster would deal with the legalities (contract length, value, bonuses, clauses etc). the acquisition of modin ----a former player of feaster's in Tbay---- leads me to believe this is far from the case in reality. i think feaster believes he can do this maverick, and that's incredibly frightening for the future of this club.

2. HOLDITCH
while i hold darryl sutter responsible for allowing the capspace to run out and the subsequent short bench debacle at the end of 08/09 (mostly because of the hubris displayed when it blew up in his face), i believe it was holditch that greenlit the jokinen trade dollars-wise, and therefore he should actually have taken the fall. and i've said it before: that was a fire-able offense by both parties, and the fact that they were allowed to stay on in the aftermath is what led us to the current fiasco. anyone who proclaims themself to be a capologist, and then follows that up by exceeding the cap should be dismissed at the first opportunity.

3. BURKE
okay so i admit i know very little about mike burke, so i won't sit here and cut the guy apart. i will point this out, though: he appears to have been in the same position now for 15 years. hm. seems like a change might be in order....? i will also suggest that a guy who's responsibilities include "contract research, analysis and negotiation, player assignments, preparation of salary arbitrations" has done a bum job on a team with 9 no trade/movement clauses and which narrowly avoided arbitration with ian white by shorting him by five bucks.

although i know it will never happen, i would really like to see the org look at other options for the front office. i HONESTLY think håkan loob would be ideal for the job, but i'd be curious how someone like michel goulet would take the reins as well. ultimately, i just don't want any of these three clowns above running my team any further into the ground than it already is.

can't. wait. til. summer.
;)

Apology Not Accepted

There is a growing sentiment among Flames fans, the media covering the Flames, and the Flames blogosphere that Darryl Sutter aka Daz in KingJafi lingo has been wronged. It is amazing how quickly memories fade, especially in the mind of those that follow the Flaming C. Its become mind boggling to me that Daz apologists are appearing more and more as the Flames fight for a playoff spot. It appeared to hit a crescendo around the Heritage Classic but the movement appears to still be alive and well today. I anticipate the amount of apologists dying down tonight, depending on the outcome of the Flames/Kings game, but the fact remains that it is preposterous that they even existed in the first place. The fact they did really scares me...it says something about Flames Nation. I'll remain optimistic about that and attribute it mostly to a jilted following that has been on a rollercoaster since 2004 and of which the last year was equivalent to a 100 foot bungee jump. In other words, I see where they're coming from...but I don't agree...am kind of annoyed by it all and find it necessary to refresh everyone's memory today.

This current Flames team is not good enough to be a legitimate playoff team. They simply aren't good and when looked at in a 5 year window, there's been a steady decline from division champions to fringe team...at least it wasn't to cellar dweller (that way the seasons have been bearable to watch) but irrelevant in the big picture nonetheless. And while a team's performance is based in part on the the players, Daz' guidance got the team here. When examining this issue, it is important not to be blinded by the post-Daz pop (ie. the Flames' record from late December 2010 to the present). So this leads me to believe that the fact there are even Daz apologists is solely based on this pop, which under the same line of reasoning we should start mailing petitions to Naheed Nenshi's office in support of renaming streets in Calgary after Jay Feaster then. Apologist crowd, all together now: that's ridiculous though, bah! you're crazy KingJafi!!, we all know Feaster turned on some music and actually made an effort to speak in audible sentences to the press...and he still has the "acting" tag in front of his title...this is the team Darryl Sutter built! But alas, its the same flawed logic...this anomaly of a midseason surge should simply be chalked up to that...an anomaly. Yes this post-Daz Flames team is more resilient and has a fighting spirit they didn't have in years past, but they are still not a Stanley Cup contender anytime soon nor are they even close to the 2005-2006 Flames. That's the truth, and that my loyal Flames brethren is the team Darryl Sutter built (there's that phrase again).

So here's my attempt in bringing up things in the past that Flames Nation appeared to collectively fume about in calling for Daz' firing. Raitis Ivanans. Brian McGrattan. McBackup, and the persistence in never actually finding a serviceable backup for Kipper. Daz' press conferences which made you feel like the biggest idiot in the world for caring about the Flames. Resigning as head coach with no apparent plan on what came next and then embarking on a coaching carousel that included Iron Mike Keenan of all people. Ales. Kris Chucko and anyone drafted by the Flames from 2005 to 2008 (excluding Pelech, Backlund, and Aulie but including Daz' son, Gord Baldwin, and Aaron Marvin). Andre Roy. Incestual hirings galore. Ference and Kobasew for Stuart and Primeau. Raitis Ivanans (had to bring that one back up). Lombo, Prust, and a 1st rounder for the Joker. Trading the Joker and then playing him that night. The Joker part deux. All free agent moves in the summer of 2010. Forcing Gio to self impose a banishment to the KHL. The end of season cap space debacle of 2009.

I honestly don't feel like dropping anymore but I have to lay out the best of all...and if none of what I just listed elicited any frustration or anger on your part this should:

Not adequately shopping Phaneuf for a substantial return and instead pawning him off with Aulie to the one team in the NHL that couldn't put together a trade for a bag of pucks and a spare Zamboni tire.

So there you go. I'm sorry to be so direct about all of this, but someone had to say it. Here's to finishing this season strong and an end to the Daz apologies.

#Winning

So KingJafi had a surprise birthday party this weekend. Absolutely unexpected...great planning by the girlfriend and mom. The best part of the party though...

And while I tried my hardest to preserve it and not have it served, the guests were hungry for cake. At least the cake was really really good. But that shouldn't come as a surprise...it's the Flaming C afterall...the best logo in all of professional sports...of course it tastes good! Winning, duh.

another reason to hate edmonton

apparently this is what the dudes are supposed to aim at whilst relieving themselves in the bathroom of a restaurant and bar in north edmonton. what a bunch of douchebags...

the best part of this photo, though, is that it was taken and emailed to me by my boss's boss (who just happens to be an oilers fan) about halfway through a full crew wrap party.
;)

jersey foul bingo card

htp buddy/nemesis goad sent me a link this morning to pass it to bulis, which has a jersey foul bingo card. SUPERFUN !!! my gio captain retro jersey, as goad points out, dabs two squares. enough to be sadly awesome, but not enough to win anything even though one takes an all-important corner.

ps: who wants to go play bingo sometime ? i'm serious.
;)