Fun with comparisons that make things look better than they look on the surface

As my brain has been going into periodic "Flames are doomed" conniptions during the past week, and wondering why "Denis Savard" couldn't be replaced or joined by "Mike Keenan," I've been careful to try to REMAIN CALM.

Making that easier?

FLYERS
0-3-1, special meeting with coach/captains after losing to Andrew Raycroft, starting goalie 0-3-0, 5.82 GAA, .824 sv%.

DUCKS

0-4-0, lost to L.A. Kings, no player with more than two points.

STARS

Popular Stanley Cup choice, lost to St. Louis 6-1, starting goalie 1-2-1/4.57/.823, only win comes in game when Swedish import scores unlikely-to-ever-be-repeated hat trick.

So, from a similarly negative viewpoint, what do we have to deal with?

FLAMES

1-1-1, gave up 11 goals in two games to a team that may never score again, starting goalie 1-1-1/4.89/.826.

So, yeah, that's not the best. But are the Flyers, Ducks and Stars going to miss the playoffs? Is Marty Turco going to finish with a 3.00-plus GAA? Of course not. But when even Detroit is losing games to BOTH of Canada's favourite punching bags, it's too early to give a shit.

There's plenty of reason to feel good, a lot of it explained by Kent yesterday in an entry that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Meanwhile, fans like me who don't have the patience to dissect statistics can get all excited about the dazzling speed on the Cammalleri-Lombardi-Bourque line, Jarome Iginla finally scoring, Todd Bertuzzi somehow scoring at a goal-a-game pace and causing TSN analysts to declare he's again playing "with an edge."

Ye olde season is long, I'm saying. And we'll get back to it tonight, as Craig MacTavish and the scardey-pants creep onto the ice hoping that Robyn Regehr doesn't break their faces.

(Also, another shout-out to the good folks at Inside the Flames, who really are coming with the timely and useful information, but can't seem to get their heads around the Internet. Making your entire entry a link to the index page of the blog? Probably not a good method to grow your readership.)

Look, I like the Oilers almost as much as an Oilerfan, but Steve MacIntyre and the Craigster's pre-emptive message to the referees probably isn't going to do anything but provide licence to get distracted. Oiler fans can whine all they want: Ales Hemsky isn't dead, and Robyn Regehr is good at bodychecking.

Also, you'll all be complaining about Dion Phaneuf at the end of the night, which is the way we like it.

WI, see if you can get a "3" stitched on the back of your jersey by tomorrow — perhaps you won't like Edmonton so much after you leave the Northlands after three hours of listening to the outrage.

Prediction: Charlie Simmer will be just as bad during the regular season, and Peter Loubardias will pronounce "scores", "scewyoures".

Good times.