it's no secret that i'm smitten with you. i find you so... intriguing. if i'm honest with myself, i'll admit that i do love you... just a little bit....
i've been saying for years (much to everyone's chagrin) that you're my east coast team. it all started when jfj shipped immonen, kondratiev & a pick (korpikoski) your way in exchange for brian leetch on deadline day in 2004. hey, it doesn't hurt that new york is one of the best towns on the planet, that MSG has a storied history, that your fans still make fun of denis potvin, and that your lundqvist is a looker. when i went to a subway series game in 2005, you gave me a bracelet with your name on it ---a much nicer gift than anything the flames ever gave me. honestly.... how could anyone NOT find you beguiling !!!
the move you pulled last night showed me, maybe for the first time, that you really care. i'm so flattered. i mean, i presume that you made the canucks look bad for MY benefit, and i imagine that you made the home fans jeer their starting 'tender just to make me smile. oh, rangers.... (*swoon*) you're just such a FLIRT !!
i should point out that i don't think much of your coach or your GM, and you DID harbour sean avery for years.... all forgiven, of course, when i think about how you turned our prusty into a real man... we agonize about his absence sometimes, but we're really proud of what he's done for you.
look. this is really hard for me to say, rangers, but... can you please go easy on my one true love tomorrow ? they've been having a tough time lately, and are feeling pretty bad about themselves. i KNOW they know how much you mean to me, and i really think it would lift their spirits if you could let them get a goal or six past your king. also, if you could keep your big guns from putting any kind of real effort up, thereby letting kippy get the dub, i'd appreciate it immensely.
if it helps at all, i'd be willing to meet up with hank tonight (even if he insists on wearing his fedora/tracksuit combination) to discuss any possible hurt feelings from you being my second favorite ---i can't help it that the flames are and will always be my soulmate... failing that, i'll swing by for a visit in november, maybe on the 6th when you play the jets. i'll cheer for you and yell "potvin sucks." promise...
much, much love --