Thursday, March 31, 2011

fantasy pool factoids

in case you were interested: this guy in the featurette below went into the "playoff rounds" at #3 in my fantasy pool. i fought him the whole way during the season but ended #4. it ticked me off that the screaming dobermans (my team) lost position to the smelly terriers (his team).

funny and awesome.... if i can knock off #1 and he can take out #2, we'll meet in the finals next week. right now both series' are tilted 5-3 in favour of the higher seed. ie: not looking good. whatever ---last year the dobies came in 12th and the awesomely named graceland kings won the title.

so, either way, i'm stoked to have made it this far.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

fuck you, teemu

i absolutely adore teemu selanne and every single thing to do with his career, skills, and quirks.

having just scoured the vaults of hitthepost history, i am surprised that i never documented one of my alltime favorite hockey moments: when me and my boy strombo were realtime texting about how emotional we were when teemu finally hoisted the prize back in 07 (a win i reveled in ONLY because of the legendary finn).

how awesome is it that teemu was a schoolteacher in his pre-nhl years ? how incredible that he once got a $40,200.00 speeding ticket ? that he played for the winnipeg jets ? that he scored 76 goals in his rookie year and went duck hunting when he broke mike bossy's record at #54 ?!? that he races cars in the offseason (and that he races under the pseudonym teukka salama which "loosely translates as tommy lightning" ---from wikipedia ) ??!!!?

also ? i wouldn't even say he's good looking. i'd suggest he's truly handsome. ;)

anyhow, teemu is a fucking legend. full stop, without a doubt. and i love the guy. except here's the hitch: he's effin' FORTY ----more than halfway to 41----, and he's still pretty much singlehandedly sinking my team's chances at the 10/11 playoffs.

which deserves a big ol' middle finger, if you ask me... hopefully he gets this note and bows out gracefully tonight cause the flambés need this one in the win column in a crazy big way....

(watch getzlaf/perry get eighteen goals tonight now)


Friday, March 25, 2011

why is this guy GRINNING ??!

okay, fine. i screencap'd this a few weeks back when everything in flamesville was cruisin' along and victories were being had like handfuls of popcorn at noodles' house. now i bet the three muskateers (l-r: uncle feaster, senior vp/asst gm & self-proclaimed "capologist" michael holditch, and director of hockey administration mike burke) in the pressbox aren't smiling, and i bet at least one of them is wondering if he'll have a job next year. [editor's note: the flames brass are in some serious need of updated photos].

i say: buh-bye to all fuggin' three.

well in the verrrry limited time at the helm of the flames, he has given us 3 no-brainer moves (waiving kotalik & conroy, recalling backlund) one "meh" (carson) and one "total waste of time and money" (modin). it's the modin move that scares me the most ----anyone who really thinks that a 35-year old who hasn't dressed a full season in half a decade is the go-to stop-gap/depth guy is an imbecile. it's that kind of thinking (*ahem* staios) that got us into this mess in the first place.

as i've said before; i think feaster could be a useful cog in the wheel of this team so long as someone else is making the hockey decisions. the way ken king was touting michel goulet during the darryl sutter dismissal presser, i allowed myself to believe that a hockey guy would analyze and evaluate potential future flames, and that feaster would deal with the legalities (contract length, value, bonuses, clauses etc). the acquisition of modin ----a former player of feaster's in Tbay---- leads me to believe this is far from the case in reality. i think feaster believes he can do this maverick, and that's incredibly frightening for the future of this club.

while i hold darryl sutter responsible for allowing the capspace to run out and the subsequent short bench debacle at the end of 08/09 (mostly because of the hubris displayed when it blew up in his face), i believe it was holditch that greenlit the jokinen trade dollars-wise, and therefore he should actually have taken the fall. and i've said it before: that was a fire-able offense by both parties, and the fact that they were allowed to stay on in the aftermath is what led us to the current fiasco. anyone who proclaims themself to be a capologist, and then follows that up by exceeding the cap should be dismissed at the first opportunity.

okay so i admit i know very little about mike burke, so i won't sit here and cut the guy apart. i will point this out, though: he appears to have been in the same position now for 15 years. hm. seems like a change might be in order....? i will also suggest that a guy who's responsibilities include "contract research, analysis and negotiation, player assignments, preparation of salary arbitrations" has done a bum job on a team with 9 no trade/movement clauses and which narrowly avoided arbitration with ian white by shorting him by five bucks.

although i know it will never happen, i would really like to see the org look at other options for the front office. i HONESTLY think håkan loob would be ideal for the job, but i'd be curious how someone like michel goulet would take the reins as well. ultimately, i just don't want any of these three clowns above running my team any further into the ground than it already is.

can't. wait. til. summer.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Apology Not Accepted

There is a growing sentiment among Flames fans, the media covering the Flames, and the Flames blogosphere that Darryl Sutter aka Daz in KingJafi lingo has been wronged. It is amazing how quickly memories fade, especially in the mind of those that follow the Flaming C. Its become mind boggling to me that Daz apologists are appearing more and more as the Flames fight for a playoff spot. It appeared to hit a crescendo around the Heritage Classic but the movement appears to still be alive and well today. I anticipate the amount of apologists dying down tonight, depending on the outcome of the Flames/Kings game, but the fact remains that it is preposterous that they even existed in the first place. The fact they did really scares says something about Flames Nation. I'll remain optimistic about that and attribute it mostly to a jilted following that has been on a rollercoaster since 2004 and of which the last year was equivalent to a 100 foot bungee jump. In other words, I see where they're coming from...but I don't kind of annoyed by it all and find it necessary to refresh everyone's memory today.

This current Flames team is not good enough to be a legitimate playoff team. They simply aren't good and when looked at in a 5 year window, there's been a steady decline from division champions to fringe least it wasn't to cellar dweller (that way the seasons have been bearable to watch) but irrelevant in the big picture nonetheless. And while a team's performance is based in part on the the players, Daz' guidance got the team here. When examining this issue, it is important not to be blinded by the post-Daz pop (ie. the Flames' record from late December 2010 to the present). So this leads me to believe that the fact there are even Daz apologists is solely based on this pop, which under the same line of reasoning we should start mailing petitions to Naheed Nenshi's office in support of renaming streets in Calgary after Jay Feaster then. Apologist crowd, all together now: that's ridiculous though, bah! you're crazy KingJafi!!, we all know Feaster turned on some music and actually made an effort to speak in audible sentences to the press...and he still has the "acting" tag in front of his title...this is the team Darryl Sutter built! But alas, its the same flawed logic...this anomaly of a midseason surge should simply be chalked up to anomaly. Yes this post-Daz Flames team is more resilient and has a fighting spirit they didn't have in years past, but they are still not a Stanley Cup contender anytime soon nor are they even close to the 2005-2006 Flames. That's the truth, and that my loyal Flames brethren is the team Darryl Sutter built (there's that phrase again).

So here's my attempt in bringing up things in the past that Flames Nation appeared to collectively fume about in calling for Daz' firing. Raitis Ivanans. Brian McGrattan. McBackup, and the persistence in never actually finding a serviceable backup for Kipper. Daz' press conferences which made you feel like the biggest idiot in the world for caring about the Flames. Resigning as head coach with no apparent plan on what came next and then embarking on a coaching carousel that included Iron Mike Keenan of all people. Ales. Kris Chucko and anyone drafted by the Flames from 2005 to 2008 (excluding Pelech, Backlund, and Aulie but including Daz' son, Gord Baldwin, and Aaron Marvin). Andre Roy. Incestual hirings galore. Ference and Kobasew for Stuart and Primeau. Raitis Ivanans (had to bring that one back up). Lombo, Prust, and a 1st rounder for the Joker. Trading the Joker and then playing him that night. The Joker part deux. All free agent moves in the summer of 2010. Forcing Gio to self impose a banishment to the KHL. The end of season cap space debacle of 2009.

I honestly don't feel like dropping anymore but I have to lay out the best of all...and if none of what I just listed elicited any frustration or anger on your part this should:

Not adequately shopping Phaneuf for a substantial return and instead pawning him off with Aulie to the one team in the NHL that couldn't put together a trade for a bag of pucks and a spare Zamboni tire.

So there you go. I'm sorry to be so direct about all of this, but someone had to say it. Here's to finishing this season strong and an end to the Daz apologies.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


So KingJafi had a surprise birthday party this weekend. Absolutely unexpected...great planning by the girlfriend and mom. The best part of the party though...

And while I tried my hardest to preserve it and not have it served, the guests were hungry for cake. At least the cake was really really good. But that shouldn't come as a's the Flaming C afterall...the best logo in all of professional sports...of course it tastes good! Winning, duh.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

another reason to hate edmonton

apparently this is what the dudes are supposed to aim at whilst relieving themselves in the bathroom of a restaurant and bar in north edmonton. what a bunch of douchebags...

the best part of this photo, though, is that it was taken and emailed to me by my boss's boss (who just happens to be an oilers fan) about halfway through a full crew wrap party.

Friday, March 4, 2011

jersey foul bingo card

htp buddy/nemesis goad sent me a link this morning to pass it to bulis, which has a jersey foul bingo card. SUPERFUN !!! my gio captain retro jersey, as goad points out, dabs two squares. enough to be sadly awesome, but not enough to win anything even though one takes an all-important corner.

ps: who wants to go play bingo sometime ? i'm serious.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

my minions must be busy too

i totally thought that i'd bring on some dudes to write for htp so that the weeks-on-end i disappear for sometimes (this time to icy cold deadmonton), something might get written. y'know, grow the brand or whatever ....

ah, well.
*slaps wrist*

anyhow, no big surprises out of flamesville ---other than jay feaster's hockey advisors suggesting that we need ANOTHER defenseman (bet that stings, don't it mikkelson ?) and ANOTHER guy over the age of 35 to hang with staios in the oldtimer's lounge. don't get me wrong, i am actually a big fan of freddy modin (god knows i'd NEVER be upset with the addition of a swede) but i'm not really sure what he brings to the club...

what i really liked about feasters first moves with the flames was that they were all just minor tweaks, in effort to streamline the roster. in essence, i think the moves yesterday were in the same vein; ass-covering moves in case the team DOES make the postseason, and needs experienced bodies to make a run. neither carson nor modin's contracts extend into next season, so the damage is minimal either way.

other than that, DEADline day was just so.

now. get on it, boys.